Self-control
Self-control worksheet for parents: a free, printable home plan
Updated 23 October 2026 · 7 min read · Free to print
A self-control worksheet for parents is a home plan for you, not a form for your child. Use it to understand what makes stopping and waiting harder for them, try a stop-think-choose script and a calming moves menu together, practise when things are calm, and keep a short log. Free to print, no email.
Drawn from research on self-control in childhood · Part of feelings and calm
Fill it in here (it saves in this browser, but not in a private window), print it, or download the PDF. Free, no sign-up.
Shouting back, grabbing, hitting out in frustration, falling apart when the answer is no, finding it very hard to wait: living with it is exhausting, and it is easy to feel it says something about your child or about you. It does not. Self-control is a skill that grows with practice and support, and it is shaped by sleep, hunger, stress, the setting and how a day has gone. It is not a character flaw, and it is not bad parenting.
This sheet is for you. You think about what is going on for your child, plan a few home routines, choose words for the big moments, and build a calming moves menu together with your child when everyone is calm. You also plan short practice, a way to notice effort, and a log so you can see what helps. It covers siblings, bedtime and screens in a practical way, without blame.
A big meltdown can be a sign that a child is overwhelmed, not that they are bad. Screens and sugar are part of ordinary life, and this sheet will not ask you to ban either; it just asks you to notice patterns. A long-running study found that children's self-control was linked with later health, money and criminal records. That is a finding about groups, not a prediction for your child. This is a home tool, not therapy and not a professional assessment.
How to use this worksheet
- 1Fill in the parts about you and your child's day yourself, in about 30 minutes. Do the menu and the practice parts with your child, when you are both calm.
- 2Typed answers save in your browser and, if you are signed in, also to your account. Fill in names on the printout, not on screen.
- 3Start with section 1. If your child tells you someone is hurting them, this sheet is not the tool.
- 4Pick one routine and one script to try for a couple of weeks, not everything at once.
- 5In a hard moment, your calm matters more than the perfect words. Say less, stay close, and talk about it later.
- 6Use the log to look back, not to judge. A hard day is information, not a failure on either side.
- 7Take the log to a GP or your child's school if you want help. It gives them something concrete to work from.
The worksheet
selfgrowth.org
My home self-control plan
Short sections for you: safety and support, what is behind it, big feelings, stop-think-choose, a calming menu, practice and routines, and a log.
011. Read first: when this is not the tool
If your child tells you someone is hurting them, or you are worried about their safety, this worksheet is not the tool. In the UK, adults can call the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000. In the US, the Childhelp hotline is 1-800-422-4453 (it is not emergency services). If a child is in immediate danger, call 999 (UK), 911 (US) or your local emergency number. If your child talks about hurting themselves, speak to a GP or call your local emergency number. If hard moments are lasting, speak to your GP or your child's school (the special educational needs coordinator, or SENCo, in the UK, or the school counsellor or psychologist in the US) about getting support looked at. This is not therapy and not a professional assessment. You matter too: look after yourself. If you are struggling, Samaritans are on 116 123 (UK and Ireland), 988 (US), or see findahelpline.com or selfgrowth.org/help. To report a concern about a child, contact your local child protective services (US) or the police. In the UK, contact the NSPCC (0808 800 5000), or call 999 in an emergency.
Who I can talk to about this (a friend, my GP, the school):
How are hard moments at home at the moment?
022. What is behind the hard moments?
Self-control gets harder for everyone when we are tired, hungry, stressed or in a loud, rushed place. Look for patterns without blaming your child, yourself or anything in your home. Screens and sugar are not the enemy; notice if there is a link, and only change things that help.
Things I have noticed before the hard moments:
What low self-control can look like at home (tick what you see, and describe it, do not label it):
Entry 1
Entry 2
Entry 3
Entry 4
033. When the feelings are huge
A big meltdown can be a sign that a child is overwhelmed, not that they are bad or doing it on purpose. In the middle of one, a child may not be able to reason in that moment, so use few words and stay close. Teaching and talking come later, when everyone is calm. Never hold a child down or use physical force to stop a meltdown; if a child is hurting themselves or others, make the space safe and get help. If a child tells you something that worries you about their safety: stay calm, listen, do not promise to keep it secret, do not press for detail, write down their words, and use the numbers in the read-first section at the top of this page today.
Entry 1
Entry 2
Entry 3
What I need to do to stay calm myself (a breath, stepping back, a word to my partner):
044. A stop-think-choose script
A short routine to practise together: stop, take a breath, think about the choices, pick one. Many schools and homes teach a version of this routine, so make it yours. Keep the words short and say them in your own voice. Practise it as a game first, when nothing is going wrong. If a child tells you something that worries you about their safety: stay calm, listen, do not promise to keep it secret, do not press for detail, write down their words, and use the numbers in the read-first section at the top of this page today.
Entry 1
Entry 2
Entry 3
Entry 4
A small, low-stakes situation to try it on first (e.g. waiting for a turn on a game):
055. A calming moves menu, made together
Sit down with your child when you are both calm and try a few moves. Let them pick the ones they like, and draw or write them on a card. Offer the card as a choice during a hard moment, not as a punishment. For teens, make it a list on their phone or a note on their wall instead. If a child tells you something that worries you about their safety: stay calm, listen, do not promise to keep it secret, do not press for detail, write down their words, and use the numbers in the read-first section at the top of this page today.
Moves to try (tick the ones your child likes):
My child's top three, in their words:
066. Practise when calm, routines and noticing effort
Diamond and Lee found that successful programmes for children aged 4 to 12 involve repeated practice with the challenge rising gradually. At home that can be a short game that needs waiting or stopping, played for a few minutes. Predictable routines for mornings, mealtimes and bedtime also reduce the number of moments that need self-control. These are ideas to try and watch.
Ideas for short practice at home:
Entry 1
Entry 2
Entry 3
Entry 1
Entry 2
Entry 3
077. My log, and talking to school
Write down what you see in a line or two. Look back after a couple of weeks for patterns. If you decide to talk to the school or your GP, bring the log with you.
Entry 1
Entry 2
Entry 3
Entry 4
Entry 5
Entry 6
After a couple of weeks: how are hard moments at home now?
What I want to tell the school or my GP:
When you're done, a moment to reflect
- What is going on around us just before a hard moment?
- What does my child seem to need most in a big feeling: space, closeness, or fewer words?
- Which one routine could I make more predictable this week?
- When did I last see my child stop and choose differently, and what did I say?
- What do I need, as the adult, to stay steadier in the hard moments?
Done for now?
Save today's answers as a dated entry. You can come back, fill it in again and compare the two side by side.
Does childhood self-control really matter, and what helps?
A long-running study of about a thousand children, led by Terrie Moffitt (2011), linked childhood self-control with later health, money and criminal offending. It shows a link across a group, not a prediction for your child.
Adele Diamond and Kathleen Lee (2011) reviewed programmes for children aged 4 to 12. Those with repeated practice and rising challenge helped, and emotional, social and physical development may matter too. At home, that points to short, regular practice and predictable routines.
Many schools and homes teach a version of the stop-think-choose script, so make it your own. These are ideas to try and watch, with your log as the test.
These are educational self-reflection tools, not therapy.
If you want to go deeper
- Moffitt, T. E., Arseneault, L., Belsky, D., Dickson, N., Hancox, R. J., Harrington, H., Houts, R., Poulton, R., Roberts, B. W., Ross, S., Sears, M. R., Thomson, W. M. & Caspi, A. (2011). A gradient of childhood self-control predicts health, wealth, and public safety. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(7), 2693-2698.
- Diamond, A. & Lee, K. (2011). Interventions shown to aid executive function development in children 4 to 12 years old. Science, 333(6045), 959-964.
Your questions, answered
- What is self-control in children?
- It is the ability to pause before acting on an impulse, wait, calm down and stick with something when something else is more tempting. It grows with practice and support. Sleep, hunger, stress and the setting all affect it on any given day, so a hard moment says little about your child's character.
- How can I help my child with self-control at home?
- Keep routines predictable, say the plan before a hard moment, practise a short stop-think-choose script when things are calm, make a calming moves menu together, and describe the effort you see. In a meltdown, stay close and say less, and talk later. Sections 3 to 6 of this sheet plan each step.
- Is a meltdown a sign my child is bad?
- No. A big meltdown can be a sign that a child is overwhelmed, tired or has run out of ways to cope, not that they are bad or doing it on purpose. Staying calm, keeping them safe and talking when it is over is a gentler place to start than punishing. If meltdowns are frequent or lasting, speak to your GP or your child's school.
- Do self-control activities work at home?
- There is no promise for any one child. A 2011 review by Adele Diamond and Kathleen Lee found that programmes with repeated practice and rising challenge helped children aged 4 to 12, and that emotional, social and physical development may matter too. At home that points to short, regular games and steady routines for mornings and bedtime, so treat the ideas here as things to try and watch.
- Does childhood self-control predict how life turns out?
- A long-running study of about a thousand children, led by Terrie Moffitt in 2011, linked childhood self-control with later health, money and criminal offending. It shows an association across a group, not a prediction for your child. A hard stretch now does not mean your child is fixed, and you can start with one calm routine.
- Why does my child have such poor self-control?
- Rarely for one reason, and not because your child is bad or because of your parenting. Tiredness, hunger, stress, a busy or noisy day, normal development and how much calm support is around all play a part, and many children are still learning to wait and stop. Look at sleep, food and routines first. If it lasts, take your log to your GP or the school.
- Is there a self-control worksheet PDF for parents?
- Yes. Use the Download PDF button for a clean, print-ready copy, or Print to print straight from the page. It is completely free, with no payment and no email needed. You can also fill it in on screen. Typed answers save in your browser and, if you are signed in, also to your account, so never type your child's name or details.
- Is this a substitute for therapy or a professional assessment?
- No. It is a home planning tool, not therapy, medical advice or an assessment of your child. If hard moments are lasting, speak to your GP or your child's school. If you ever feel unsafe or have thoughts of harming yourself, call Samaritans on 116 123 (UK and Ireland), call or text 988 (US), or find a line at findahelpline.com. If you are worried about a child's safety, the NSPCC helpline is 0808 800 5000 (UK) and the Childhelp hotline is 1-800-422-4453 (US). In an emergency, call 999 (UK), 911 (US) or your local emergency number.
Keep going, related worksheets
Feelings Thermometer
A free feelings thermometer: rate any feeling from 0 to 10, write what each level is like for you, and plan what helps. Works for adults and older kids. Free PDF.
Open worksheet
Feelings Wheel
A free printable feelings wheel (emotion wheel) PDF: six core feelings and 36 more precise words, with a daily check-in and a week log to name what you feel.
Open worksheet
Emotion Faces Worksheet
A free printable emotion faces worksheet: pick from a set of plain feelings, describe each as a face and body feeling, rate how strong it is, note what would help.
Open worksheetNew worksheets, straight to your inbox
An occasional new worksheet or tool, sent only when there's something genuinely worth your time. No spam, no pressure, unsubscribe any time.