Communication
Communication exercises for couples: six calm-time practices to do together
Updated 25 October 2026 · 9 min read · Free to print
Communication exercises for couples are short, calm-time practices you do together before any row starts. This free printable has six: a 10-minute daily check-in, speaker-listener turns, appreciations, one-wish requests, a weekly look at the week and repair phrases for tense moments. Each has space for both of you.
Plain practice formats for listening, asking and pausing · Part of relationships and communication
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This sheet is for two people who feel safe with each other and want to talk more easily. If one of you is afraid of the other, feels controlled, threatened or hurt, please do not use it. Read the safety box below and use the numbers there instead.
The exercises are for ordinary, calm moments, such as a cup of tea on a Sunday. They are not rules for arguments. For that, see the fair fighting rules worksheet. The turn-taking exercise uses the listening skills from the active listening worksheet, so it helps to read that first.
Each exercise takes a few minutes and has space for Partner A and Partner B. Try one at a time. Pick the one that feels easiest and start there. This is a self-help tool, not couples therapy. A couples or relationship counsellor can help with patterns that keep coming back.
How to use this worksheet
- 1Before you start, read the safety box on your own. If any of it is true for you, stop and use the numbers there.
- 2Choose one exercise to start with. Add another only when the first feels easy.
- 3Pick a calm time with phones away. Not when one of you is tired, hungry or about to leave.
- 4Each person writes in their own column, then you take turns reading it out. You do not have to agree.
- 5Skip any exercise that does not suit you. Fill in the last section to keep what worked.
The worksheet
selfgrowth.org
Our Communication Practice
For couples who feel safe together. If one of you is afraid of the other: England 0808 2000 247 (free, 24 hours); Scotland 0800 027 1234; Wales 0808 80 10 800; Northern Ireland 0808 802 1414; US 1-800-799-7233. In danger, call 999 (UK) or 911 (US). Six calm-time exercises, with space for both of you.
01Safety first: is this right for us?
Read this on your own first. This sheet is for couples who feel safe with each other and can say no. If one of you is afraid of the other, controlled, threatened or hurt, do not use it, and do not ask your partner to sit down and do exercises. Talk to a domestic abuse service first: England 0808 2000 247 (free, 24 hours); Scotland 0800 027 1234; Northern Ireland 0808 802 1414; Wales 0808 80 10 800; US 1-800-799-7233. In danger, call 999 (UK) or 911 (US).
Check privately, on your own:
What I hope these exercises will make easier for us:
021. The 10-minute daily check-in
Sit down for ten minutes at the same point each day, if you can: after dinner, or with a morning drink. Each of you answers the three questions below. The other person listens and does not fix. Then swap. Keep the topic to your own day, not to complaints about each other.
Our three questions (change them if you like): 1. How are you today, in a few words? 2. What is on your mind this week? 3. Is there anything you need from me today?
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- 3.
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When and where we will try this:
032. Speaker and listener turns
One of you speaks for a couple of minutes about something small. The listener says back what they heard, in their own words ('So it sounds like...'), then asks, 'Did I get that right?' The speaker corrects or agrees. Then swap roles. The listener does not defend, argue or give advice during this. Start with a topic that is not about each other.
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043. Three specific appreciations
Each of you tells the other three things you appreciated in the last week. Be specific. 'Thanks for making the call to the plumber on Tuesday' lands better than 'thanks for everything'. The person hearing it just says thank you. No 'but' and no 'it was nothing'.
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How it felt to hear mine, and to say mine:
054. One wish
A wish says what you would like, not what the other person did wrong. Make it small, specific and doable this week. 'I wish we could eat together twice this week' is a wish. 'You never spend time with me' is a complaint. Say it, then your partner says back what they heard. They can say yes, no or 'let me think', and any of those is fine.
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065. A weekly look at our week
Once a week, about 20 minutes. Look back at the week just gone and ahead to the next. This is also the place for logistics, so they do not creep into your daily check-ins. Choose a time when neither of you is rushed.
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What is coming up next week that we need to plan:
One thing we will do together next week:
076. Repair phrases for when talk gets tense
Even calm talks get tense. A repair phrase is something you say to slow things down, such as 'Can we pause?' Agree your phrases now, while you are calm. When one of you says one, you both stop for a set time (try 20 minutes), calm down apart, and agree when you will come back to it. Pausing is not walking out, so always say when you will return.
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How long a pause we will take, and how we will say when we are back:
08What we'll keep doing
After two or three weeks, sit down and look at what worked. Keep what felt useful and drop the rest.
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What we will do differently, and when we will look at this again:
When you're done, a moment to reflect
- Which exercise felt most natural, and which felt most awkward?
- What did you learn about your partner that you did not know?
- When did you find it hardest to just listen?
- What would you like to ask your partner for more often?
- If the same tense topics keep coming back, would it help to talk with a counsellor?
Done for now?
Save today's answers as a dated entry. You can come back, fill it in again and compare the two side by side.
Where these exercises come from
The six exercises are everyday practice ideas that turn up in many forms: checking in daily, taking turns to speak and reflect back, saying thank you for specific things, asking for what you want, reviewing the week, and pausing when talk gets tense. The listening step is explained in more depth in the active listening worksheet.
No study has tested this particular set, so it is a format to try, not a method with proven results. The last section lets you check for yourselves what helped.
It is for couples who feel safe with each other. It will not fix a deep problem, and it does not replace a couples or relationship counsellor.
These are educational self-reflection tools, not therapy.
If you want to go deeper
- GOV.UK. Domestic abuse: how to get help. England 0808 2000 247; Scotland 0800 027 1234; Northern Ireland 0808 802 1414.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org), 1-800-799-7233.
Your questions, answered
- What are good communication exercises for couples?
- Simple, regular ones are easy to start: a short daily check-in, taking turns to speak while the other says back what they heard, naming specific appreciations, making a request as a wish and not a complaint, a weekly look at the week and repair phrases for tense moments. This sheet puts all of them on one page, with space for both of you.
- How do you start communicating better with your partner?
- Start with one small, calm practice, not a big talk. A ten-minute check-in each day, with phones away, is a good first step. Each of you says how you are, and the other listens without fixing. Add a second exercise only when the first feels easy.
- How is this different from fair fighting rules?
- Fair fighting rules are agreements for how you argue. These exercises are for calm times, to build the habit of talking and listening before a row starts. Section 6 bridges the two, with repair phrases to use when talk gets tense.
- What if my partner does not want to do these exercises?
- You can start with the parts that are about you, such as noticing what you appreciate or how you listen. Do not push. If your partner says no, that is their right. If you feel you cannot say what you need, or you are afraid of how they will react, call a helpline: England 0808 2000 247 (free, 24 hours); Scotland 0800 027 1234; Northern Ireland 0808 802 1414; Wales 0808 80 10 800; US 1-800-799-7233. In danger, call 999 (UK) or 911 (US).
- Do these communication exercises work?
- No study has tested this exact set, so no results can be promised. The exercises are common, practical ways of listening, asking and pausing. Try them for a few weeks, use the last section to see what helped and drop what did not.
- Is there a couples communication exercises PDF?
- Yes. Use the Download PDF button for a clean, print-ready copy, or Print to print straight from the page. It is completely free, with no payment and no email needed. You can also fill it in on screen, and your answers save in your browser.
- Is this a substitute for therapy?
- No. It is a self-help tool, not couples therapy. If the same problems keep coming back, a couples or relationship counsellor can help, and a GP can point you to support if low mood or stress is getting in the way. If you ever feel unsafe or have thoughts of harming yourself, call Samaritans on 116 123 (UK and Ireland), 988 (US), or find a line at findahelpline.com.
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