Attachment Style Quiz: What Are Your Patterns in Close Relationships?
This free attachment style quiz is short and private. Statements about close relationships place you on two dimensions, anxiety and avoidance, then describe what that pattern can look like day to day. It is a starting point, not a diagnosis. Your answers stay private, and you can retake it to see your own change.
Take the attachment style quiz
12 statements. Free, no sign-up, and your answers stay private.
Attachment is the way you tend to feel and act with people you are close to: how you handle distance, reassurance, conflict and needing someone. Researchers who study adult relationships often describe it along two dimensions rather than in boxes. One is how much you worry about being left or not mattering. The other is how uncomfortable you are with closeness and depending on others.
Answer for close relationships in general (partners, close friends, family) rather than one person, and go with your first reaction. There are no right answers and no one else's answers to compare with. The result is only your own two scores. If you are going through a breakup or a hard stretch right now, your answers may reflect this week more than your usual pattern.
What it measures
- Anxiety about relationships. A higher score means you tend to worry about being left, not mattering or being too much, and to look for reassurance. A lower score means you tend to feel fairly settled about where you stand with people, even when things are uncertain.
- Avoidance of closeness. A higher score means you tend to value self-reliance and feel crowded or uneasy when closeness or dependence grows. A lower score means you tend to be comfortable with closeness, sharing feelings and relying on others.
What the results mean
Leaning secure
Both of your scores sit on the lower side. People in this pattern tend to feel reasonably comfortable with closeness and reasonably settled when a relationship is uncertain.
It does not mean relationships are easy for you or that you never feel anxious or distant. Patterns shift with who you are with and what is going on in your life.
Leaning anxious
Your anxiety score sits on the higher side and your avoidance score on the lower side. Researchers sometimes call this preoccupied attachment. People in this pattern tend to want a lot of closeness, notice small changes in how others act, and worry about being left.
Many people with this pattern find it once protected them. It is not a flaw. Naming what sets the worry off, and what actually helps in the moment, is a good place to start.
Leaning avoidant
Your avoidance score sits on the higher side and your anxiety score on the lower side. Researchers sometimes call this dismissive attachment. People in this pattern tend to prize independence, keep some distance when things get close, and find it hard to ask for help.
Self-reliance is a real strength, and it can also leave you carrying more alone than you need to. Small, low-stakes steps towards letting someone in are usually easier than a big leap.
Leaning fearful-avoidant
Both of your scores sit on the higher side. Researchers call this fearful attachment (Bartholomew and Horowitz). People in this pattern often want closeness and worry about losing it, and at the same time feel uneasy when someone gets close, so it can feel like pulling in two directions.
That push and pull is understandable, and it can change over time. Go gently with yourself. If relationships feel painful or frightening, talking it through with a qualified therapist can help, and if someone close to you makes you feel unsafe, helplines are listed on the help page.
Questions
Is this attachment style quiz a diagnosis?
No. It is a short self-reflection tool that gives a starting point. Attachment patterns are not a medical or psychiatric diagnosis, and a short quiz cannot capture your whole relationship history.
Can my attachment style change?
Yes. Attachment research describes tendencies that can shift with experience, including steady relationships and new experiences. That is one reason this quiz saves your results, so you can retake it later and compare with your own earlier answers.
Why two scores instead of one label?
Researchers who study adult attachment usually describe it as two dimensions, anxiety and avoidance, rather than four fixed types. The four pattern names here are shorthand for which side of the middle each score falls on.
Who can see my answers?
Your answers are saved in your own browser. If you have a free account, they also sync to it so you can see them on other devices. They are not shown to anyone else and are not compared with other people's.
Sources
The two dimensions come from adult attachment research. The statements here were written for this site.
- Brennan, K. A., Clark, C. L., & Shaver, P. R. (1998). Self-report measurement of adult attachment: An integrative overview. In J. A. Simpson & W. S. Rholes (Eds.), Attachment Theory and Close Relationships. Guilford Press.
- Fraley, R. C., Waller, N. G., & Brennan, K. A. (2000). An item response theory analysis of self-report measures of adult attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 350-365.
- Bartholomew, K., & Horowitz, L. M. (1991). Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61(2), 226-244.
- Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment. Basic Books.
This isn't therapy, and a result here is a starting point, not a diagnosis.